Monthly Archives: February 2014

Can you?

Can you?

I think it was about 3  years aggo, I was sitting in church group, about 15 people in a living room. All of them good friends having a good time on a weekly basis. The host invited some friends from another country, verry kind Christian people. We shared stories, prayed for one another, gave prophecies and so on. A verry typical afternoon at a homechurch.
I had been involved in this homechurch for a few years at that point, and it was pretty much the first one I settled down. Life was getting back on track after all the near traumatic madness that is “becoming a christian”.
I was talking to one of the people visiting, and I told him about how frustrated I was beeing single. Everybody around my age seemed to find someone, life just hapened to them. For me everything stood still. My social life had died and as I was still freaking out from all the spiritual encounters, some more genuine then others. And finding a girl just wasn’t hapening. I was set on finding that christian girl of my dreams,…but then what…al the girls I met in christian cirkels were so…churchy…and pardon my choise of words…but also a bit boring. And God forbid I’d date a non Christian, or that was the idea at the time atleast.
The man smiled and told me of a woman he knows. She recieved a prophecy that she would meet her husband in the near future…everybody was excited for this too happen. It took longer then she hoped and in time she went back to her old boyfriend…an alcoholic.
The man telling me this story wanted to make a point, that I should wait. Having an empty bed is not as bad as missing out on God’s promisses. And that is an excellent point btw.
However I said something about her, that I can say about all these people:

The Minister of the gospel who gets caught walking out of a topless bar.

Or that other minister who got caught doing drugs and involved in sex scandals.

The teenager who stops going to church because he’s bored and goes partying.

The church janitor who turns out has a flask on him all the time.

That group of youngsters that uses foul language behind their parents their backs.

That wel reputed Pastor who has a private porn collection he tries to hide.

The many church goers that try to hide their porn collection.

That born again Christian who kept selling drugs for a while.

That young church goer, who liked to get drunk after work for a while, just to deal with the stress.

And the woman who despite having recieved a prophecy about her future husband still settling for that other man.

“Can you blame her?”

The man was slightly suprised I said that and eventhough he said he couldn’t he still was making a strong case that was leaning the other way.

It took a while, but I’m learning that I can’t. I can’t in good concience blame any of these people as much as it would feel right to some of you. In fact I’m even going to try to not complain about any of it either. We all have our wounds that need tending, and for whatever reason that lies beyond our capabilities to understand, sometimes God doesn’t show up where, when and how we want him too. And you can throw any scripture you want at me now…there’s plenty of people that have been prayed over in Jesus name still sitting in wheelchairs. I don’t claim to know why that is…it just is sadly.

We live in a broken world that has been cut of from glory. And we’re all looking for that little something to get us through this life. When I think of a God who humbled himself so he could be one of us…I can’t help but think how much more he must understand our desperate ways.

Dear fellow worshippers of the one God, dear followers of Christ, brothers and sisters.
Lets not fool ourselves and others, because we wouldn’t perform any better wearing these people their shoe’s. We all need Jesus his grace.

(btw most of the people I named are real, ofcourse I left out their names out of respect. Some of them are made up stereotypes, just to mask the real ones even more. I’ll take one mask of partially, some of these people are me)


Police has found dead carreers in a church building.

Research has shown they died from starvation.

Today’s rant,…not that I have gone full out yet,…will be about how the church will “aid” you in your goals…or rather try to. We’ve heard this story a million times before haven’t we? “I was down and out, Jesus showed up, a miracle hapened and now life is just fine and dandy.” And then they appear on the many Christian broadcasts all over the internet trying to promote their ministry with Jesus his handywork. Think about it, if Jesus was as anal about copyrights as we are…some ministries would be bankrupt in no time. Anyway, after that many of those people just seem to dissapear of the planet.

Lets take a look at Brian Welsh, he got saved, quit korn, went solo, wrote a couple of books, started Love and Death, became part of the whole whosoevers thing (I’m not sure about the order but whatever) and then joined Korn again….at this point I saw many christians pointing at Brian calling him a traitor.  Because surely he can’t be part of that heathen band AND be a Christian?

And that’s where I want to get at. It seems to me that only rarely somebody gets saved, involved with church and at the same time their proffesional life or carreer stays intact. It seems that no matter what you do outside of church, once you take it to a level beyond the churche’s capabilities they’ll be there to talk you out of it. And I think that’s a crying shame. When it comes to serving the church  they’re all open arms. Everybody is invited, everybody is welcome and encouraged to do so. And with that comes ofcourse everybody gets encouraged to get rid of their band t-shirts, cut ties with those nasty unsaved friends, all the way up to making drastic life altering choises. Not long aggo I read about how some certain hyper spiritual ministry somewhere (that will remain nameless) is filled with highly educated people. People who have degrees and diplomas for verry high functions. These same people have been brainwashed into just spending their time in prayer instead of fullfilling their carreers.

Take that in for a moment.

To some of you that might seem like a highly spiritual and sacrificial thing to do. But look at it this way. Aren’t those diplomas and degrees a blessing from God? Isn’t a high position a blessing from the Lord? Wouldn’t it be logical to use those gifts in gratitude and service of the Lord? Apparently to some part of the church not. And that sickens me.

Back to beforementioned ministry…would you be suprised if I told you people commit suicide there?

I write my blog as an open book, and I dearly hope church leaders will read this. Not everybody needs to be involved with your type of ministry. Not everyone is called to do so. It is in no way shape or form a better life lived in service of the kingdom then any other.

Jesus is after saving people from Hell…he is not interested in building a church army.

I’m so sick of hearing it “stacking chairs is just as good as preaching”…will you please cut that crap? Leave that fake humility in the toilet please. There’s nothing wrong with expanding your capabilities and buidling a carreer. In fact I encourage it to both Churched and non churched people alike. Find a trade and learn it’s secrets. Christianity is beeing called a cult by most people and you know what, in a lot of cases we deserved that title. If you have a desire and a talent for something that is beneficial and non destructive…go for it. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.

Theres nothing wrong with giving extravagant expressions to your worship or prayer, there is nothing wrong with devoting time to Jesus…but for the love of an average size donut, dunked in coffee unto the glory of His holy name…just live your God given life!!!

And let others do the same for crying out loud!


In closing here’s a little video from someone called Tony Seigh interviewing his wife.

Now go my little fishies! Be succesfull and live fullfilling lives…

Come and take a swim part 5

Come and take a swim part 5

Hello dear everybody who I am gratefull to for reading my blog again!

So last time we took a  look at a heavy part of my life, that first girlfriend where things got “serious” with and then went horribly wrong. I must admit that after writing that I felt drained, because it brought up a lot of memories. But at the same time it feels fantastic having gone over that time period of my life again it gave me an opportunity to forgive and to put things in perspective. In fact I don’t resent her anymore, I’ve found gratitude for the expierience with both it’s up and downsides. As strange as it may sound I have positive feelings towards her now. I may never meet her again, in fact that would be awkward propably, but I have certain peace inside now. Thank you for beeing part of that, by just reading 🙂

So lets take a look at what followed after that. A while after things went south I decided to leave my whole clique behind. I’d sit alone somewhere in the hallways of school sulking in my bitterness (teenagers…how dramatic!).

Not long after that, I shook hands with a guy from “that other band at school that is way more metal”. He was also kind of a reject from his clique, or what exactly the case was I don’t know, he was out. And he also played guitar, we instantly started a band by getting drunk, turning the gain up and jamming out. Some really killer agressive riffs came from that, and we really had something going there. You know how every guitarist goes through that phase of listening to all the classics like Metallica, Pantera, Megadeth, Sepultura and so on and so on? Well yeah we were right smack dab in the middle of that mixed with some frustrations. And we felt ready to take on the world. Things got moving fast too, a bassplayer tacked on, a drummer, and a singer. And boy did my attitude change with it, I remember acting like a jerk from time to time just to fit in. However after I don’t know how long things fell appart again. I was dropped because I asked the guys one day “are we really as good as we think we are?”. Nobody likes a spoilsport, I get that, but I was sincere about it. I wanted to take this band all the way so it was time to evaluate ourselves for the next stage.

This was around my second to last year at that school I think, I was about to graduate. I felt again, betrayed. But not as much as the first time, we sort of kept in touch half and half and it wasn’t really clear if things were gonna carry on or not.
During summer my parents sent me to a jazzcamp. I fell in love…with music. Suddenly I was challenged to play clean and something other then powerchords? A whole new spectrum opened up for me there. I met such interesting people as wel. That week threw my life into a whole diffirent direction.

After that I met up with my friends from that metal band again and it was noticeable, we sort of grew appart. So I moved on again (seems to be a theme in my life doens’t it?).

Last schoolyear, here things got shaken up a bit. Just when I though life had pushed me in a corner to be alone most of the time I end up in class with a guy I used hang with right before my musical journey had started. We both loved tabletop gaming (warhammer and the likes) and all kinds of sience fiction stuff. We parted ways over something really trivial back then but here life put us toghether again. It was physical Ed and he was my teammate against everyone else “So here we are again huh, let me help you out here”. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was music to my ears. He wasn’t verry popular in our class, but I did count him as a friend. And he has stood by me in several occasions.

Then there was the ex drummer from my first band, who just started dating my ex girlfriend. Yeah, I said some things to him I shouldn’t have during those days 😦

That year came and went as everybody started making plans for life after highschool. I was busy with my music next to graduating. In fact I didn’t even go to the prom party, I was at a metalfest.
My parents decided that, if I was going to play guitar I might as wel take it serious and go for an education. And after looking around some, I ended up at some kind of Jazz school.

And that’s a story for another time.

I know this one’s short, a little chaotic and kinda boring, but it’ll get interesting soon enough 🙂