Yes I have a little spot of time for blogging in the sea that is called an average week.
So last time we looked at my transition from one band to another, loss and gain of friends, graduation and so on…Now we’re going to look at a period of time that has drasticly altered my life’s course. For better and for worse at times.
Jazz school, I just failed one audition to enroll at one school but they refered me to another one. An event I’m verry gratefull for to this day. It was verry hard work for me, because keep in mind at this point I was still nothing more then the average guitar strumming kid who wanted to be the next James Hetfield. I was in for a couple of years of heavy molding as a musician…and I felt it a lot.
This school was an interesting collection of people, there were the typical artsy Jazz guys, the stoner rocker kind of types, the (juck) James Blunt type of people…sorry I just can’t stand that guy, and only a few metal/schred/whatever guys. I was one of them, and not really top of the chart exactly btw. I was really excited for this education, I enjoyed it a lot…it was amazing, eventhough I still had my heart set on metal.
So at some point early on one of the metal guys at school invites me to join them on a trip to germany for a metalfest…one of my childhood hero bands would be playing there,…manowar. Yes I admit it, I was a huuuuge manowar fan…in fact I still listen a few songs every now and then. Think of it what you will… I love their music. So I ordered some tickets, said I was tagging allong. And then IT hapened…
2 days before we took of to the festival I had a dream. No not a Martin Luther King kind of dream, the dream you have sleeping at night kind of dream. The kind of dream that doesn’t feel like one because it’s so real and tangible. The kind of dream that makes you question if you don’t have dreams and reality switched around somehow. The kind of dream where you wake up from and it follows you around for a couple of days…if not longer. That kind of dream. It went something like this…
I found myself at a gasstation next to a highway during the night. I was standing in the little store, you know, candy, sigarettes, drinks, newspapers,…stuff you don’t really need but you buy anway. Walking through the automated glass doors I was met with the typical gasstation surroundings, a few gasspumps under an enourmous starlit midnight sky. Earth felt verry small in comparison indeed.
As I was looking up into the sky all of a sudden it was like the sky ripped open and it made way for an opening, like it was a piece of cloth torn open and parted like a pair of curtains. A gigantic hand reached through towards me. This hand had an even bigger impression on me then the sky did. It was amazing, it consumed my attention. A huge voice filled the place, in fact it filled the whole atmosphere, I’m sure it must have resounded between the stars and beyond. It said “Do you want to be saved?”. Pointing at me and then holding itself stretched out in front of me…like it wanted to invite me.
I didn’t know what to say…what do you say to something like that? I didn’t even know what it was talking about, let alone make a decision right then and there. I just schrugged and said “I don’t know”.
That verry instant I uttered those words, the ground tore open beneat me. A black gaping hole was all I was standing on. I was getting pulled into it. Just like trying to fight gravity…there was nothing I could do. It was a lost fight. The darkness was enclosing around me as I sank further and further into the unknown. I felt immense pain, explosions in my body, electrocution, and sounds so harsh and terrifying you haven’t heard any like them with your living ears.
And just as the ground reached up to my chin and the darkness was clawing at my lips I shouted with a volume I have never been able to produce, nearly as loud as the hand that asked me the question that started this all… “do not lead me into temptation, but deliver me from evil, amen“.
…I opened my eyes and found myself covered with sweat, I’ve had many vivid dreams before… but this one was something else…I sat on the edge of my bed trying to process what had just played out in front of my eyes for a while.
I had breakfast and told my mom about this dream…she made nothing of it, just a weird dream, like all dreams are…it sounded reasonable…nightmares happen. We started talking about how to organise my trip to germany…
Until next time my friends, stay tuned.