First I’d like to say that eventhough this blog is pretty much anonimous, I was still a little nervous about writing the last two parts. I know that as “a good christian” I should share my testimony/story at any possible moment. Or atleast that is the western christian culture interpretation of that atleast. But I find these matters so personal that it would be out of place in some contexts…it’s kind of like walking into a courthouse making a case for forgiveness while you have no business beeing there in the first place… to think theres plenty of christians out there who do reason this way.
Regardless, that’s a rant for another day, what I wanted to say is that I’m glad my story is out there now and I thank all of you my readers. Wel so far it has only been the beginning of my story, theres still a good amount of events over a good stretch of time to go. Lets take a look at it!
So last time I got invited by this mysterious dream, I got angry at God and had a phonecall that almost made me go through the roof (go read it, tease tease)
So after all that crazyness I had time to settle down again a bit. Put my focus back on school and music, things were looking up again. That dream I had kinda faded into the back of my head, not really paying anymore attention to it, the most important thing to me was, I dodged a bullet or two there and I felt gratefull for it. However, I did change something in the way I approached music.
Short flashback that we might get back to later=> I remember a weekend trying to give my second band I ever played in another go…things didn’t work out, but it was a pretty crazy weekend at an interesting house. I left there an expierience richer and I had come up with a riff…if this was before/between or after the festival/phonecall deal I don’t remember exactly, I think it might have been between.
That riff would be the foundation of my own band. I think it was only a few days after that weekend that I was at home on a sunny early spring day. If recall correctly it was still before noon, the dew was still to be seen from my beautifull window view (oh you should see the area I grew up in, I think you’d be jalous). I put a mic in front of my cab, turned on a metronome and in only one or two takes, I improvised a song on the spot from start to finnish. It was one of those moments where time just seems to slow down and everything you do is calculated and right in place.
My change in how I approached music after the whole ordeal hapened was that, I decided allong the way that I would make music for God. I don’t remember exactly having a turning point expierience for this decision. It just kind of grew inside me, first I decided I wouldn’t write the typical “evil” metal. Then that grew into “lets try and write music with positive vibes while still beeing agressive and dissonant”. And that eventuall grew into “lets write a song about God”. And so I did, one of my songs was about God as a creator of everything in existence. Note that at that time, I had no involvement with anything church or christianity related. I was just living my metal/jazz mindset that’s all there was for me. And during all of that, this one dream came allong…and sparked these ideas in me.
I was working with a drummer for a while and things started getting shape but not to the extent that it would become a full fledged band, we also couldn’t find a bassplayer to stay and…things kind of fell appart. I remember around these days I was trying out bands left and right not really finding anything that would stick. My cooperation with that drummer on my own songs lasted the longest.
Then one night I was at a small party in my hometown, seeing people again I hadn’t seen in ages. I was getting used to the city life at that point and a small basement bar on the countryside seemed a little foreign to me. We had fun though. Regardless, I remember getting a phonecall from a buddy at school that verry night. We always had a blast, goofing around, talking about music. A dear friend. And he had this to ask, he wanted me to try out in a band he was playing in, now for me this was a big step, because there I was in my bedroom and garages trying to get a band toghether…while these guys already had multiple cd’s/clips/endorsements and whathaveyou. Pretty much everything that impresses the young and unexpierienced guitarist that still thinks you’ve made it when you have your picture on the website of guitarbrand so and so…
And so off I went, I took a long trainride across the country and I tried out for this band. I heard some of my fellow students had failed and that it would require lots of effort…but I did make it. This was the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life. I saw it all opening up before me as my hopes and dreams grew. I saw gigs, tours, endorsements, fans, all the gear I could dream of, the sky was the limit.
I was excited to give it my best and make it all happen. And besides I had my friend from school there, this was going to be great!
And to find out just how great it would get…you’ll have to tune in next time (oh come on really?!)