Monthly Archives: May 2014

More blunders on social networks in the name of Christ…


I just can’t deal with this anymore…seriously?! I’m not a photoshop engineer wizard but good grief!!! Is this thing ever so obviously fake. Modern day christianity has a hard enough time beeing taken serious without stuff like this. A lot of christians are still not in on the debate between themselves and the rest of the world…if you’re a christian who likes this picture let me let you in on something.

The people who are critical of your faith….ARE SMART! Stop threating us like children please. And that goes for both people in and outside of the church. Why do you think people struggle with their faith? Why do you think people leave? …condescending things like these are not helping.

Ever heard of this one “thou shalt not bear false witness” ?

Now lets say that this was made not from a perspective of trying to make something convincing to pass it off as an actual event, but rather an artistic expression. Still this is not helping.

It feels plastic to me, it feels like you’re leaving out more then half of your story as wel.

Between this blunder and all the rainbow pictures by Thomas Kinkade I find nothing but untruthfull representations of life. Yes walking with Jesus is amazing at times, and it does express itself in almost fantasy like moments at those rare events where everything just perfectly falls into place.

But you have to be honest with yourself and the rest of the world…beeing a christian is gonna suck at times. Beeing a christian will have you cursing the day you were born at times doesn’t it? Don’t tell me you’ve never been angry at God and you feel like it’s puppies and rainbows all day every day…that is so naive and such a disservice to the magnifisence of the gospel.

I’ve found that my relationship with God gets strengthened the most in those dark days. Those days where it feels like you’re pulling glass shards from your body. Those days you wish you were dead. Am I gloryfying those days? Absolutly not, but I am saying look at how great God is that he would get us through days like these. Look at how great God is that he has entrusted us with moments like these because he gave us the strength to pull through. Such is His glory, in the weak, in the suffering, in those who are on the edge of giving up and even past it. That’s where he shines because he didn’t give up.


Yes walking with Christ has it’s walt disney moments…

but never forget that behind the scenes is a cross on a hill where the payment was made.


I once was a critic but now I’m found… humbled. (confession time)

A pint for whoever gets the nudge in the title…huzzah!

So as all my previous posts indicate I’ve been going through a time in my life where I was verry condemning of christian culture. I’m fed up with sunday morning services and all the programs and formulas that come with it. I’m bored with preachings and teachings that make you just sit there instead of actually doing something with it. And for the love of a donut!!!! I can’t hear another worship song without plugging my fingers into my ears going obnoxiously “lalalalala” like a little kid who doesn’t wanna hear. Those just drive me up the wall!

I guess you can say I got bitter about things, between having my entire life and ambitions taking weird detours and getting rejected by christian women time and time again in the most painfull ways. Something just snapped in me allong the way that made me say “no more”.

No more sitting through music that I loathe trying to put up a smile and tap my foot allong just for the heck of it. No more trying to find a wife in this select group of people where all the single women give me the cold shoulder (knowing full well that women outside sometimes practically throw themselves at me…on that odd lucky day so to speak). No more trying to hide away my honest questions, perceptions and diffirent personality.

And while most of these things are honest and genuine on my behalf I have to admit one thing. I underestimated some people.

Not long aggo I decided to pop my head back in the door a couple of times to sort of say hi and goodbye since soon I’ll be moving (don’t know where yet) other times it was out of neccesity. And a few times in a row now I’ve had people approach me honestly to ask me how I’m doing and what’s going on in my life. And they’ve given me what I wanted, a listening ear that doesn’t condem, that doesn’t argue, that doesn’t tell me what to do or what to believe in which way.

For that I take my hat off to the whole local scene. Christ lives in these people and is best expressed one on one over a pint at the bar, sitting in a living room with a cup of tea, exchanging contact information just to hang out sometime without any plans or programs.

Is this my return to the “every sunday morning without missing a beat” lifestyle? Absolutly not. It’s not me and it probably never will be. I will however look for fellowship in those places where it matters, where it becomes personal and real, to me atleast.

It took some of these sunday morning folks (or that’s how I caracturised them) to show me how. The same people I liked to point fingers at collectively.

And so I say, Namasté. Which I’ve been told means something allong the lines of “I bow before that which is greater in you then I am”…don’t quote me on that one exactly. But for the sake of irony while writing a blog on christianity I’d like to add a little eastern flavor :p


Namasté, may I have learned a little more, to judge a little less.

Dailypost “great expectations”

So this dailypost asks us about what we wanna accomplish by the end of this year. My main goal is to get my new band ready to hit the road as I already have high possibility for a pretty big international gig if it all comes toghether on time. When that happends (not saying “if” because you gotta believe in victory) I’ll be so happy, I’ll feel enourmously accomplished, heck I’m pretty sure I’ll even cry …because over ten years of work finally coming toghether and having it’s fruits will absolutely move me…

From there on, off to the many gigs that will follow and many adventures to come!

Come and take a swim part 9

It’s a warm sunday evening, quiet outside and the time feels right to write another chapter of my story. Lets take a look at another key moment in my life.

Last time we ended with what looked like exciting promises for the future. I got enrolled in the band and I was going to give it my best shot, after all I couldn’t find the right people for my own music at the time and this was certainly a bigger organisation then what I had worked with until that time. It involved long and late trainrides to get there, but I felt it was worth it.

At first things seemed to take off fine. I’m approached it humbly and with a serving attitude as I was gratefull for the opportunity. And you’d think that would work great in the long run but it didn’t take long to find one major monkey wrench in the gears. I knew that I knew what I was doing on the guitar…after all I studied jazz and did the metal thing at the same time…I was pretty much breathing/practicing technique refinement at the time.

The drummer of that band was considered the leader, he wrote the layouts of the songs and all the things that come with beeing a bandleader. But one thing he didn’t count on. Nobody back then could tell me how to play my instrument other then my superiors at school. He insisted I played everything in downstrokes… for the guitaristicly uninitiated among you that means a bit more “dumbed down” technique off all the variations you can do on a guitar…it works verry wel in some instances, but in some cases it’s unnecesarry and takes away from the overal sound.

Lets put it this way, it’s like asking an rnb singer to cut her notes of at the end and leave out all the extra decorations every last word…come to think of it…can we make that a thing?

Anyway, so there it started I was determined to stick to my chops and ideas about the perfect ergonomic guitar technique and the drummer couldn’t have that. Understandibly, it was his band which he wanted excecuted his way, but he got a little more then what he asked for with me onboard.

Months went by, ranging from me and the drummer beeing slightly peeved to all the way beeing ready to strangle one another. Meanwhile my friend from school who invited me into this band started getting in on it as wel. He understood my frustration and shared it, I wasn’t the only recipient of the drummers tyranical behavior. We became really tight and we’d have our own little fun games during rehearsal much to the dismay of the drummer. Me and my friend would get drunk toghether after rehearsing going into town pulling all kinds of crazyness…just acting out our frustration. Man do I have some stories…

Anyway at some point frustration was so high, my friend and I decided to spend the night at my parents and we took a bottle of something allong for the ride…some kinda fancy drink that goes down way to easy. We went out for a walk into the fields sat down and started drinking.  And you know how those conversation go…first you piss and moan about the things of that day…then you go on about deeper matters from the past and whatnot.

I was at the time in the back of my head considering nature as a form of God. Nature religion if you will. I wasn’t sure under what name to go looking for it. But I was toying around with ideas to formulate my understanding of excistence and living life accordingly. And as I was explaining that to my buddy he all of a sudden responded with stories about his parents. About them having spiritual encounters, or someone they knew who had spiritual warfare with satanists. …this took me by suprise…here I was talking about a mere philosoficall approach and now I get confronted with actual manifestations (or stories thereof atleast). And as we went on I suddenly remembered

“…a gasstation…”.

I dont remember if it was the booze, but I fell to my knees gazing into the sky.

I told my friend about it and I realised, I had to commit to God. And I need to know more about him. The first thing I commited then and there was to stop cussing on God. (good golly do we cuss a lot in belgium). I even remember saying to my friend that verry moment “I should get baptised now right? Lets do that sometime”. But he declined. He said, just think it over and see…

Come and take a swim part 8

Hi everybody!

First I’d like to say that eventhough this blog is pretty much anonimous, I was still a little nervous about writing the last two parts. I know that as “a good christian” I should share my testimony/story at any possible moment. Or atleast that is the western christian culture interpretation of that atleast. But I find these matters so personal that it would be out of place in some contexts…it’s kind of like walking into a courthouse making a case for forgiveness while you have no business beeing there in the first place… to think theres plenty of christians out there who do reason this way.

Regardless, that’s a rant for another day, what I wanted to say is that I’m glad my story is out there now and I thank all of you my readers. Wel so far it has only been the beginning of my story, theres still a good amount of events over a good stretch of time to go. Lets take a look at it!

So last time I got invited by this mysterious dream, I got angry at God and had a phonecall that almost made me go through the roof (go read it, tease tease)

So after all that crazyness I had time to settle down again a bit. Put my focus back on school and music, things were looking up again. That dream I had kinda faded into the back of my head, not really paying anymore attention to it, the most important thing to me was, I dodged a bullet or two there and I felt gratefull for it. However, I did change something in the way I approached music.

Short flashback that we might get back to later=> I remember a weekend trying to give my second band I ever played in another go…things didn’t work out, but it was a pretty crazy weekend at an interesting house. I left there an expierience richer and I had come up with a riff…if this was before/between or after the festival/phonecall deal I don’t remember exactly, I think it might have been between.

That riff would be the foundation of my own band. I think it was only a few days after that weekend that I was at home on a sunny early spring day. If recall correctly it was still before noon, the dew was still to be seen from my beautifull window view (oh you should see the area I grew up in, I think you’d be jalous). I put a mic in front of my cab, turned on a metronome and in only one or two takes, I improvised a song on the spot from start to finnish. It was one of those moments where time just seems to slow down and everything you do is calculated and right in place.

My change in how I approached music after the whole ordeal hapened was that, I decided allong the way that I would make music for God. I don’t remember exactly having a turning point expierience for this decision. It just kind of grew inside me, first I decided I wouldn’t write the typical “evil” metal. Then that grew into “lets try and write music with positive vibes while still beeing agressive and dissonant”. And that eventuall grew into “lets write a song about God”. And so I did, one of my songs was about God as a creator of everything in existence. Note that at that time, I had no involvement with anything church or christianity related. I was just living my metal/jazz mindset that’s all there was for me. And during all of that, this one dream came allong…and sparked these ideas in me.

I was working with a drummer for a while and things started getting shape but not to the extent that it would become a full fledged band, we also couldn’t find a bassplayer to stay and…things kind of fell appart. I remember around these days I was trying out bands left and right not really finding anything that would stick. My cooperation with that drummer on my own songs lasted the longest.

Then one night I was at a small party in my hometown, seeing people again I hadn’t seen in ages. I was getting used to the city life at that point and a small basement bar on the countryside seemed a little foreign to me. We had fun though. Regardless, I remember getting a phonecall from a buddy at school that verry night. We always had a blast, goofing around, talking about music. A dear friend. And he had this to ask, he wanted me to try out in a band he was playing in, now for me this was a big step, because there I was in my bedroom and garages trying to get a band toghether…while these guys already had multiple cd’s/clips/endorsements and whathaveyou. Pretty much everything that impresses the young and unexpierienced guitarist that still thinks you’ve made it when you have your picture on the website of guitarbrand so and so…

And so off I went, I took a long trainride across the country and I tried out for this band. I heard some of my fellow students had failed and that it would require lots of effort…but I did make it. This was the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life. I saw it all opening up before me as my hopes and dreams grew. I saw gigs, tours, endorsements, fans, all the gear I could dream of, the sky was the limit.

I was excited to give it my best and make it all happen. And besides I had my friend from school there, this was going to be great!

And to find out just how great it would get…you’ll have to tune in next time (oh come on really?!)