Fast forward to now: A house, a wife, and most gloriously, a baby!
She’s resting in my arm as I type away at this blog once again searching to unburden the ponderings of my cranium.
Life has become, once again, a little more busy, a lot richer, a little more stress, a lot less void of emptiness and dread.
And as such I find that life seems to throw me in lots of situations where all the thinking and homegrown backyard philosophical thinking in the world means very little when it’s time to get onto the field.
Onto the field of getting a loan, buying a house, renovating said house in time before the baby is born, taking care of a pregnant wife, taking care of a wife after pregnancy and the new life form that ever so joyfully takes it’s place in the most important seat of your life. Seat? Nay, throne! All this while also doing my best to manage two stepdaughters and two poopmachi…chihuahuas. Changes in my musical life, changes in my theological life, change everywhere.
With that comes I’m not as interested anymore in current church climate. Or having that all consuming feeling of finally having to sort out what God is and what it wants from us.
Instead I find myself moving forward instead of turning every thought inside out a million times.
I guess you could say that my path of disassociating myself from the evangelical/charismatic church culture is becoming quite complete (No, I shant use the word finished, because a human never truly is). But then, what takes it place? Living everyday life. And in terms of where that leaves the great creator being, I’m much, much less distracted by it’s identity. I evaluate situations with a much more scientific minded eye, but I also manage to look at those odd “coincidences” with a playful smirk “If there’s something out there, I see what you did there”.
As hard as it may sound for a full blown believer (if one were to ever read this) questions like “am I going to hell?” seem so trivial in light of making sure all the bills get paid, trying to put adequate meals in all the stomachs and trying to get the damn dishes in the dishwasher on a timely matter. Beëlzebub be damned, I got a household to run.
And I highly recommend it to any hardcore Christians out there. Just imagine all those Sunday mornings you could have spent with your family going for a walk, taking some rest, mending the wounds you collected during the course of the week. Wouldn’t you think that what a God would actually want?
So to end on a very Christianese-esque note: do it. Let your life run it’s course and if you happen upon a situation where some wisdom you picked up from church might actually benefit then great. If not, common sense is also highly underestimated.