Tag Archives: lies

…then why doesn’t it work?


“Give your life to Jesus and you’ll never be alone again”

Or any other variation of that exact pitch. The promise that God in your life is going to make all the difference. The promise that he has the perfect spouse for you, the perfect goal or job in life or even health and wealth if you play your cards right.

The idea that making a spiritual alliance with the creator of all existence will somehow solve your deepest inner dilemma’s once and for all. Always with the disclaimer that it won’t be easy all the time.

And that’s only the starter kit. After that we have plenty of groups and programs to help you on your way to finding whatever it is you’re looking for. Prayer meetings, soaking sessions, seminars on the gifts of the holy spirit, preaching¬† and teachings on whatever we can construct out of the bible, and if that doesn’t work we’ll build on top of what was already built on top of that. Weekends where one church visits another one so you can all mingle. Weekends where we’ll tell you to be guilt free while at the same time telling you what a horrible sinful abomination of a creature you are.
And have you heard of our special one on one spiritual/therapy hybrid sessions?

Also, if you stick long enough with us you can even aspire to become part of our team.
You’ll fly like an eagle distributing pamphlets, praying for people, operating lights and sound, being on stage giving a pre-made preaching or even, yes you guessed it, doing the dishes and cleaning the toilet for the glory of God himself no less.

It doesn’t matter what you want to do in life we’ll try to make it work…just as long as you try to become like us.

And whatever you do, always say Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to you.
Did I say Jesus? I meant to say our church.

What more can we do to sell our Lord and savior, I mean Church, I mean product to you today?

What a sales pitch huh? All of this buzz and activity around this cute and innocent idea they’re trying to sell. And surely it must work because these people are highly motivated.

Lets get back to the title. Then why doesn’t it work?
Why is it that after years and years of this crap I’m right now in a place in life where I’m putting the pieces back together again after leaving the aforementioned circus behind? Why is it that I am seriously considering getting some professional therapy to help me through the damage that’s been done by this sort of malarkey?

And please don’t tell me I didn’t try hard enough. Just don’t.
You can’t promise a God and a church that will take care of everything eventually and then shove it all in my shoes, that’s not fair by any stretch of the imagination.
That sounds more like a cheap scam.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not knocking theism of any kind. We’re all entitled to experience the contemplative journey that lies behind that door if we so desire to and I feel we have a right to pilot that one ourselves as well in a healthy way.
But organized religion is just a scam, it’s just another way people found to exploit one of life’s wonderful innocent things and turn it into yet another gaping wound.

It’s the market place where a certain Nazarene once got quite angry.


Taking christianity out of Christ.

You’ve heard it a million times before. “they’re trying to take Christ out of Christmass”; “we need the Christ back into Christianity” and many likewise political campaign like sounding qoutes that get too much use from your average evangelical christian.

And usually the Christ they’re reffering too is the one that’s gonna come back someday and blasts everyone a few new holes right before he damns close to everyone to hell.

Now I don’t know about you but I’m personally tired of hearing the next dumbass claim he knows exactly when Jesus is suposidly making his grand comeback tour. Which he tries to prove through all kinds of hoops and backdoors through the book of revelations and then some only to ignore the part where Jesus said “nobody knows but the Father”…you know I’m not a big fan of taking every single thing in the bible too literal but here’s one that pretty much says what it means I think.

So that’s a big part of christianity, people making up dates about Jesus his return.

Take something else people that campaign for church usually tote around like their new girlfriend who’s gonna take of next month. Pseudo history/sience. You’ve all heard that story about the high priests that had to tie a rope around their waist before entering the holy place right? Yeah that thing Jewish historians have never heard off..
Or how about the laminin thing? Yeah that was exciting for a few months until it died out wasn’t it? So apparently some “scientist” found out theres a protein in the human body that has the shape of a cross. This protein serves to keep stuff toghether. And they link that too the bible saying God holds us toghether.
Oh theres also the part where theres a whole bunch of these proteins that have all kinds of shapes and Jesus more likely died on a “T” shape…but they don’t mention that.

This also is a big part of christianity looking for signs and wonders where there aren’t any and acting like they “own” things for the faith when they don’t even know what they’re talking about.

Televangelists, faithhealers, prosperity gospel, …need I say more? Also huge parts of christianity.

Or how about pilling up into little groups, denominations, …sects if you will. And then acting like it’s natural, everyone is welcome and we certainly are on the up and up when it comes to interracting with the outside world…only to slam our spincters shut tighter then a vaultdoor whenever an outsider walks in and asks something like “whats up with the annoying music, do you really think God wants that?”.

Speaking of music…oh dear…you know the part where every cd that you can’t order through the bible store must be from the devil? Because we’ve played every track backwards just to make sure we haven’t missed any messages from Satan promoting the new world order. And now we’re telling you to surrender everything or burn in the lake of fire for ethernity because you listened to poop dog. (buy you a beer if you know where this refference comes from?)

That and alcohol, tattoos, gay people and muslims. They’re worse then democrats you know.

You know what I’m getting at? Personally my not so hidden agenda is that I want to rid christianity off the things most mainstream people associate christianity with. Obnoxious annoying weird people that need to have everything their particular weird and inpractical way because they’re more busy doing their “spiritual” stuff instead of beeing nice to other people. It’s not a sin to act like a humanitarian every once in a while folks!
I’ve had it with the fear mongering propaganda, the waste of time and energy on things that aren’t really there. I’m tired of God beeing turned into a fluffy sheep herder that’s more lovey dovey and fluffy then the sheep themselves while at the same time beeing the most brutal and unreasonable butcher psychopath the horror section of the video store (remember those?) could only dream off! When is it ok for !!!God!!! to be a mystery?
Stop trying to fabricate a culture that has all the answers for things you don’t have any answers for. It’s disgusting, no the cause does not justify the means because you’re calling God a liar or at the verry least you’re proving that you don’t trust him. If you did you wouldn’t have to restort to trying to come up with the next miracle proving yourself right to yourself.

Just admit it you have doubt about your faith sometimes and that’s perfectly ok.
If you could just admit that, think of all the amazing conversations you can have with other people outside of church. Think of how much God is going to bless you because you opened the door of your comfort zone to outsiders and all the riches that come with them.

I promise you that not everyone out there hates you because of your identity in Christ. They don’t, in fact I can honestly say now that a lot of people want to love you. They really do, but it’s up to you to let them in. Because as long as you keep on putting up that wall that says “you’re diffirent so I can’t relate to you” that thing is going to be in the way.
In the end we breathe the same air and we all bleed.

I’ve wasted too many years living without this advice and that’s why I’m so passionate about it. Don’t let another day go by without enjoying God’s creation by embracing all people that live on it. It will do you a world of good and it’ll help God open doors for you you didn’t even dream off.

Stop trying to church over the world. Love it.